THE SIGNS OF the impending season are unmistakable and should not be ignored.
The vine maples are red. The cottonwood trees are yellow. The old guide’s woodpile is large enough to be seen from space.
The cows are getting shaggy coats. The spiders in their uncounted millions are showering the forests and meadows with gossamer streams of silver threads in preparation to coming indoors.
These autumn mornings are only a few degrees shy of the first frost.
Soon, we will witness the appearance of the orange-coated road-hunter and be subjected to that ancient hated ritual, the stupid turning of the clocks.
All of which means it’s time once again for this wilderness gossip columnist’s winter weather forecast. Offered every year at this time as a public service to the benefit of humanity, at no extra charge, in an effort to help you, the dear reader(s), be prepared for winter.
Who was it that said, “By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail”? That was Benjamin Franklin, philosopher, inventor and one of the founding fathers of the United States of America.
He printed Poor Richard’s Almanack from 1732 to 1758, providing seasonal weather predictions that were vital to the agrarian economies of the 13 colonies at the time.
Our pioneer forefathers spent all summer getting ready for winter, laying up stores of food, forage and fuel.
These winter predictions have become no less vital in the modern world of the future in which we live.
Our modern-day civilized man with his big brain, fat wallet and technological advances has an even bigger challenge to survive the winter, given the energy demands for our high-tech consumer culture that can be seriously disrupted by winter storms that produce power outages.
According to experts that track our every movement, the average American spends seven hours looking at a screen each day, equally divided between a phone and computer, while watching four hours of television.
Leaving little time for self-care, employment or social interaction.
While prolonged and consistent screen time can lead to depression, stress and anxiety, worse things can happen if we are denied access to these devices.
For example, smartphones have become a part of our anatomy.
They are almost impossible to put away or turn off. The ability to constantly text and message can be the only available method to find out if anyone still likes you.
A dead phone can be torture for people addicted to video games. A dead phone denies you the right to post everything you’re doing, watching and eating on social media, leaving us unable to compare the quality of our life experience with others.
This can lead to unrealistic expectations and make it difficult to bolster our self-esteem issues.
Extreme winter weather can often leave us without electrical power for many minutes at a time, which can lead to the death of our devices with dire consequences.
As devices die, people trapped together in the same home could be forced to have a conversation.
Without devices, we have very little to talk about.
Without conversation, people could be forced to read. Reading has become an unfashionable, time-consuming anachronism with no redeeming social value.
Are you still reading this? Why?
Going without devices can affect our quality of life.
We rely on the internet to shape our self-image by combining inactivity, a high-calorie diet and commercials for things we can’t afford — like the medications we’ll need from a lifetime of spending every waking moment on the internet.
Make no mistake. The coming winter will be cold, wet and dark. The phone you save could be your own.
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Pat Neal is a Hoh River fishing and rafting guide and “wilderness gossip columnist” whose column appears here every Wednesday.
He can be reached at 360-683-9867 or by email via patnealproductions@gmail.com.