TODAY IS APRIL 1, 2018.
I got a letter from my grandmother — you know, the one who raised me — with strict instructions to pass it along; so, having learned what’s good for me (the hard way), here it is:
“My Sweet Markie:
“I think it’s time that we had a little talk, so sit down and pay attention, and I expect you to pass this along to everyone.
“That’s enough, now. You — all of you! — need to quit acting like children. You’re grown adults.
“There is NO excuse — there is never an excuse! — for being rude, discourteous or impolite. If you disagree with someone about something, that’s fine; then, act like an adult and speak your mind clearly and calmly — and listen to what is said back to you. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, and the simple fact that two people disagree doesn’t make it OK to scream, holler, threaten or be disrespectful.
“It is NEVER OK to be disrespectful! Are you listening to me? I’m not through.
“It doesn’t matter where a person came from, what color they are, what church they go to or where they live — respect is respect, and everyone deserves that, period.
“And it seems to have gotten way too easy to disregard or disrespect someone, because they don’t agree. Disagreement is not the end of the world, and it seems that some of us have become too quick to write someone off, simply because they do. Listen to people! Maybe, you could actually learn something! But even if you don’t, you can still respect and appreciate another human being.
“Are you listening to me?
“Maybe someone isn’t as big as you or as healthy as you or as smart as you or as lucky as you — do you think that gives you the right to treat them as though they were ‘less?’ It doesn’t, and it had better stop.
“You — all of you! — are each other’s keepers, and it’s about time that you got back to remembering that. It IS your responsibility to try to make things better for folks who may not be as fortunate as you are, so quit acting like you sit at the right hand of The Almighty, and get to work doing that!
“Enough with the accusations, rationalizations and convenient interpretations! Just act like a decent, loving, caring person and everything else will work itself out. How many times have I told you this?
“You need to remember that this includes people who are older than you are AND who are younger than you are. Respect is respect and conceit is NEVER OK! Who ever told you that you’re always right? Right: Not me, and it needs to stop.
“Now, listen, because there’s a reason that this is called The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Repeat that back to me; now, again. Do you understand what that means? Tell me what you think that means … OK, good. Can you remember that? Because it’s the MOST important thing you will ever learn!
“All of you are old enough to learn this: Things change. ‘Change’ is the nature of life. What was true in my time may not be as true in your time, and what is true in your time, may not be as true in another. We grow, we learn and we evolve — And that is NOT a dirty word.
“ ‘Evolve’ just means that we adapt to new things with new ways. You can’t live in the past, and who would want to? Grow! Change! Learn! Move on! Try new ways of thinking. And don’t waste your time trying to guess what I would have done — what are you going to do? What kind of person do you want to be? ‘Now’ is the most important time there will EVER be.
“You can do better, be better and act better right now, so do it. I know it’s a cliché, but today really IS the first day of the rest of your life, so make it count.
“Now, look: There are many wonderful things about you — all of you! — and you have a right to feel good about who you are — yay! That’s how you want to feel every day, so never stop asking yourself if you could be better — you can, and you should.
“What I’m telling you applies to all people, all the time — there are NO exceptions! — so I expect you to accept people for who they are, not what they are — do you understand?
“OK; now I expect you to read this over and over and over, until you are SURE that you understand it; then, I expect you to be the wonderful person that I know you are, OK?
“I’m fine, and everything is lovely here, and I miss you, too, Sweetie.
“I love you — and those are the MOST important words in the world.”
She signed it the way she always signed notes to me, but that’s between the two of us.
She told me to tell everybody, so here it is, because I learned something very important — the hard way — a very long time ago:
Life will go much better if I just do what my grandmother tells me.
________
Mark Harvey is director of Clallam/Jefferson Senior Information & Assistance, which operates through the Olympic Area Agency on Aging. He is also a member of the Community Advocates for Rural Elders partnership. He can be reached at 360-452-3221 (Port Angeles-Sequim), 360-385-2552 (Jefferson County) or 360-374-9496 (West End), or by emailing harvemb@dshs.wa.gov.