Coping with a loss

Big hugs sparkles12. We lost a family member in August. Their spouse has good days and bad days. This Christmas is going to be hard, we are just trying our best to get through each day.

Dear Sparkle, I am caring for my husband at the moment he has Parkinson’s and has already had 2 big falls, and he is not well at all. I am scared to go out in case he falls again. So looking after someone is so very hard , he is also very stubborn so I have try hard to not lose my temper. I feel for you with your loss as well.Life can be so hard. Even though it was not easy now they have gone you will miss all the things you used to do.

With all my kindest thoughts and best wishes.

Hi Sparkles

I’m so sorry for your loss, I have lost close family members and it does get easier with time.

I became a bit of a recluse and I don’t think that was healthy for me, but at the same time I don’t think you should force yourself to get out and about if you’re not feeling up to it.

I think sometimes after being a carer it is important to do some self-care but also to have something that makes you feel like you’re doing good in the world. I do some volunteering, nothing that has a set schedule so I can just show up when I feel up to it and it leaves me feeling important and that I helped someone else in need which always puts a smile on my face.

Have a think about what activities bring you joy and see if you can get back into those. Where in Oz are you located?

Take care of yourself! Sounds like you deserve it! xx

Never easy loosing a loved one Sparkles but now it is time to start looking after you and there are some very good, important information and suggestions here. Take care my dear it will take time to process it all.

So sorry for your loss @Sparkles12 take care of yourself x

I’m so sorry for your loss sparkles. 🙁 when my grandma passed away there was a big hole, there were moments I would break into tears during work and had to rush into bathroom so that I don’t embarrass myself at work.

You learn to take it one day at a time, one step at a time, one breathe at a time and don’t forget how many people love and care about you. I find that quiet time is when it’s the hardest so please put on some happy Christmas music or any of your fav uplifting music when you’re crocheting alone. Distraction works the best for me, I committed to learning a language which forced me to focus so that my mind doesn’t wonder.

Our thoughts are with you and I know your world will be filled with sparkles once again!

Hi Sparkles12, I hear you loud and clear. I was caring for a loved one with Cancer a few year back. Life was super busy with all the hospital appointments and such and then he passed. Life was still busy with sorting out the funeral and having my girls all come home. Then everyone left and straight after we went into covid lockdown so I was really all alone with no where to go and no one to see. It was a huge adjustment. Im not sure how I managed to get through those days but once all the restrictions were lifted and I started my new job where I am a carer for special needs children and that changed everything for me and gave me a purpose.

Just remember that your friend would hate to think of you being sad. She is ok now and will be waiting for you when your time comes no matter how far into the future that may be. Think of her and think of the good times and smile ever if you have tears in your eyes. Make sure she can feel your happiness for the fact you had her in your life for as long as you did. Treasure the wonderful memories.

Sincere Condolences @Sparkles12, it’s such a difficult period for you and being buzy as a carer helps with coping and now there is an empty void. Lots of self care is just the boost you need. Be proud of what a wonderful friend you were/are. Journalling has also helped me through these situations.

@Sparkles12 – I am sorry for your loss at losing such a beautiful friend that you had. You have been an amazing friend to her though with all your caring and looking after her.

I lost my best friend to a brain tumour and it is hard. I miss her so much but I found that I needed to get on with life as that’s what she always said to me. I hold her in my heart though and think about her often.

You just need to take one day at a time…….I see she had her a son. I hope he is doing okay also.

Just try and gradually get back into things you enjoyed and know that she is watching you also even though you can’t physically see her. It keeps me feeling better know this with my friend.

I’m so sorry @Sparkles12, this will naturally leave a gaping hole in your life. Is there something you put aside when you started caring for your friend? A hobby or something you didn’t have the time to pursue? Now is the time to start taking care of yourself. Whatever that may mean to you.